After a burial, you usually wait six to twelve months before a headstone is fixed, so that the ground can settle. You will need permission from the cemetery or churchyard, and the person who holds the right to the grave must agree. Churchyards in particular have rules on size, stone and wording. A memorial mason who is registered with a trade body will design the headstone with you, apply for the permit and fix it safely to the recognised standard.
When can you put up a headstone?
A new grave needs time for the soil to settle before it can safely take the weight of a memorial. Most cemeteries and churchyards ask families to wait at least six months, and some suggest up to a year. Your memorial mason or the burial authority will tell you their rules. Many families use the time to think about the design and wording without feeling rushed. A temporary wooden cross or marker is usually allowed in the meantime.
For an existing family grave, a new inscription can often be added sooner, although the headstone may need to be taken away to the workshop to be carved.
Who needs to give permission?
The grave owner
When a grave is bought in a council or private cemetery, someone is registered as holding the exclusive right of burial. Only that person, or whoever has inherited the right, can apply for a memorial to be put on the grave. If you are not sure who holds it, ask the cemetery office. Changing the registered holder after a death is usually a simple form and a small fee.
The burial authority
- Council and private cemeteries need a memorial permit before anything is fixed. There is normally a fee, and the cemetery’s rules set limits on size, type and sometimes material. Some sections, such as lawn sections, allow only a headstone with no kerbs.
- Church of England churchyards are covered by regulations set by each diocese. These usually limit the size and shape of the headstone and the type of stone, and they may rule out some finishes, such as highly polished black granite. The vicar must approve the design and wording. Anything outside the regulations needs special permission, called a faculty, which takes longer.
- Natural burial grounds often allow no headstones, or only a small flat plaque or a tree.
How do you choose a memorial mason?
Look for a mason who belongs to the National Association of Memorial Masons (NAMM) or is accredited by the British Register of Accredited Memorial Masons (BRAMM). Members are expected to follow a code of working practice and to fix memorials to British Standard BS 8415, which covers how memorials are anchored so they stay safe for years. Many cemeteries will only accept memorials from registered fixers.
Ask two or three masons for a written quotation. Check what is included: the stone, the lettering, fixing, the cemetery permit fee and VAT. Ask how long the work will take and what guarantee comes with the fixing. Many masons have showrooms or yards where you can see the stones. You can find stonemasons and memorial masons near you.
Which stone should you choose?
| Stone | Look | Things to know |
|---|---|---|
| Granite | Many colours, polished or natural finish | Very hard-wearing and needs little care. Polished black or coloured granite is not allowed in some churchyards. |
| Marble | Usually white, smooth and bright | Classic look, but it can weather and discolour over time and needs regular cleaning. |
| Slate | Dark grey to blue-black, fine lettering | Durable and good for detailed carving. Often accepted in churchyards. |
| Limestone | Soft creams and greys | Traditional in many churchyards. Softer, so lettering wears gradually over the years. |
| Sandstone | Warm buffs, pinks and browns | Traditional and natural-looking. Weathers like limestone. |
What should the inscription say?
Most inscriptions give the person’s full name, the dates of birth and death or their age, and a short line about who they were to the family, for example “Beloved husband, dad and grandad”. Many add a phrase, a line of verse or a few words from a favourite song or saying. Keep it short enough to be read at a glance, and remember that churchyards may need to approve the wording.
If the grave may be used again, leave space for a second inscription. Your mason can lay out the design so that another name can be added later.
How long does it take?
Once you have agreed the design, the mason applies for the permit. Making and lettering the headstone then usually takes several weeks to a few months, depending on the stone and how busy the mason is. Churchyard approvals and faculties can add time. Ask for a likely fixing date when you order.
What about additional inscriptions and memorials for ashes?
Additional inscriptions. After a second burial, a mason can add a name to an existing headstone. Some work can be done in the cemetery, but usually the headstone is taken to the workshop and refixed afterwards. A new permit may be needed.
Cremation memorials. If ashes are buried in a cemetery or churchyard, a small plaque, tablet or desk-style memorial can usually be placed on the plot. Crematoria often offer memorial plaques, benches or entries in a book of remembrance.
Who looks after a headstone?
The grave owner is responsible for keeping the memorial in good repair. Councils and other burial authorities test memorials for safety from time to time, and they may lay down or support a memorial that could fall. They will usually contact the grave owner first if they can. If an old headstone needs cleaning, re-lettering or refixing, a memorial mason can help.
For what to do before this stage, see our guide on what to do when someone dies.
Frequently asked questions
How long after a burial can you put up a headstone?
Usually between six and twelve months after the burial, to allow the ground to settle so the headstone stays safe and level. Each cemetery and churchyard sets its own rules, so ask the burial authority or your memorial mason. A temporary wooden marker is normally allowed in the meantime.
Do you need permission for a headstone?
Yes. The person who holds the exclusive right of burial for the grave must apply, and the cemetery or churchyard must issue a permit, usually for a fee. In Church of England churchyards the vicar must approve the design and wording under the diocese's regulations. Your memorial mason normally makes the application.
What is the most durable stone for a headstone?
Granite is the most hard-wearing and needs the least care, which is why it is the most common choice in cemeteries. Slate is also very durable and takes fine lettering. Marble, limestone and sandstone weather more over time. Check the burial ground's rules, as some churchyards do not allow polished granite.
How do I choose a memorial mason?
Look for a mason who belongs to the National Association of Memorial Masons or is accredited by the British Register of Accredited Memorial Masons, and who fixes memorials to British Standard BS 8415. Get two or three written quotations, and check what each includes, such as the permit fee, fixing, guarantee and VAT.