Funeral flowers usually follow a simple pattern. The closest family choose the coffin spray, which sits on the coffin. Other relatives often send wreaths, sprays or letter tributes such as “MUM” or “GRANDAD”. Friends and colleagues either send a smaller tribute to the funeral or a sympathy bouquet to the family’s home. If the family asks for “family flowers only”, respect that and give to the charity they name instead. Order through a local funeral florist, or through the funeral director, a few days before the funeral.
Who sends which flowers?
| Tribute | Usually from | Where it goes |
|---|---|---|
| Coffin spray | The closest family, such as a partner or children | On top of the coffin |
| Letter or name tribute (MUM, DAD, NAN, a first name) | Children, grandchildren or close family | Inside or beside the hearse |
| Wreath, heart or cross | Family and close friends | Beside the coffin or in the hearse |
| Spray, posy or basket | Friends, neighbours, colleagues | The funeral venue |
| Sympathy bouquet | Anyone who wants to show they care | The family’s home |
Families often agree the main tributes between them, so that the coffin spray, letters and the hearse arrangement work together in colour and style.
What does “family flowers only” mean?
It means the family would prefer that only close relatives send flowers to the funeral. It is often paired with a request for donations to a charity that mattered to the person. The funeral notice or the funeral director will usually say how to donate. If you would still like to mark the occasion, a card or a small sympathy bouquet sent to the home a little after the funeral is usually welcome.
How do you order funeral flowers?
- Through a funeral florist. A local florist who makes funeral tributes every week can advise on designs, colours and what is in season, and can make something personal. You can find funeral florists near you.
- Through the funeral director. Many funeral directors take flower orders and pass them to a florist they work with. This is convenient, but ask for the price before you agree.
Give the florist the full name of the person who has died, the date and time of the funeral, and the funeral director’s name and address. Tributes for the hearse are usually delivered to the funeral director, not to the church or crematorium, so they can be placed on and around the coffin before the funeral leaves. Order at least three to four working days ahead if you can, and earlier for a large or specially shaped design.
What should you write on the card?
Keep it short and personal. Use the name the person was known by, and sign it with your name or as a family. For example:
- “Mum, with all our love always. Sarah, Tom and the grandchildren.”
- “In loving memory of a dear friend. Thinking of you all. Jan and Pete.”
- “With deepest sympathy, from everyone at Hill Road surgery.”
- “Forever in our hearts, Grandad. Love, Amy and Ben.”
For a sympathy bouquet sent to the home, write to the family rather than the person who has died, for example “Thinking of you all at this sad time”.
Do flowers have meanings?
Many people simply choose the person’s favourite flowers or colours. Some traditional choices carry meanings:
- Lilies are the most traditional funeral flower and are often linked with peace and the soul.
- Roses show love. Red roses are often chosen by partners, white roses suggest remembrance and purity, and yellow roses friendship.
- Chrysanthemums are widely used in tributes, and in many cultures they are associated with grief and remembrance.
- Carnations last well and are often used for letter tributes.
- Seasonal and garden flowers give a natural, informal look and can come from the person’s own garden.
Some faiths have their own customs. Flowers are not traditional at Jewish funerals, for example, and at Muslim funerals simple arrangements or none are usual. If you are unsure, ask the family or the funeral director.
What happens to the flowers after the funeral?
After a burial, flowers are usually laid on the grave. After a cremation, they are often displayed at the crematorium for a day or two. Families can ask the funeral director to bring flowers back to the house, to take them to a hospital, care home or church, or to keep the cards. Some florists can preserve a few flowers from a tribute as a keepsake.
For help with the rest of the funeral, read the guide on how to arrange a funeral.
Frequently asked questions
Who buys the coffin spray at a funeral?
The coffin spray, the arrangement that sits on top of the coffin, is usually chosen and paid for by the closest family, such as the partner or the children. If several people want to contribute, they often share the cost. The family usually agrees it with the florist so that it works with other tributes.
Where should funeral flowers be delivered?
Tributes for the funeral itself are usually delivered to the funeral director, so that they can be placed on and around the coffin before it leaves. Check with the funeral director, especially if the service starts somewhere other than their premises. Sympathy bouquets are sent to the family's home.
What does family flowers only mean?
It means the family would like only close relatives to send flowers to the funeral. It usually comes with a request for donations to a named charity instead. If you want to do something, make a donation, send a card, or send a small bouquet to the family's home a little later.
How far in advance should I order funeral flowers?
Order at least three to four working days before the funeral if you can, and earlier for letter tributes or other specially shaped designs. Give the florist the person's name, the date and time of the funeral and the funeral director's address.